That's All He Wrote

It happened. The unthinkable. I'm lying in bed drinking soup. I can't sleep. I can't stop listening to that song, "Somebody That I Used To Know." You didn't have to shut me out! Those are the lyrics, but they are also my thoughts.

Daniel pulled the plug. It happened last Thursday. After a lovely day in Jerusalem we settled in to have a romantic pasta dinner and watch the Sopranos. And then, a turn for the worst. I, being myself, brought up something (who can remember now?!) that was troubling me in our relationship. Immediately I knew I had said the wrong thing. Daniel shook his head slightly, and said that he couldn't put work into our relationship with the end so near. His comment quickly devolved (escalated?) into a crying/kissing/yelling/awkwardly silent 4-hour break-up.

That first Friday was rough. By rough I mean brutal. By brutal I mean I (jokingly?) walked in front of a bus and was jerked back to the curb by a nearby friend. My friends nearby have been saving my life every day, in more ways that one. My roommate has spent so many hours with me she deserves a prize. She brought me food when I couldn't leave my bed. She told me when I simply NEEDED to shower. She accompanied me home when I left the bar crying, and didn't complain about it once. So my roommate, among other girlfriends, has proven to me that life is worth living. She, and the 30+ hours of The Biggest Loser we've watched in the past few days.

I have also started to live again because of Choco, the Israeli chocolate milk. It's true, that in this degree of heartbreak food has lost all taste. Yet there seem to be a few exceptions. Since the break-up, my diet consists of these things exclusively: chocolate milk, popcorn, soup nuts (see earlier Israel post for reference), bread and hummus, and sushi. And now soup. Not a lot of nutrients, but I'm compensating by a return to the gym. I can't expect the next guy to be into the 10-plus-pounds version of myself.

The next step, I think, is to just keep looking forward--the future in New York looks bright.

And maybe I could stop sending crazy streams of texts late at night. And calls. That'll be the goal for next week. I can only make so many strides at once. Today I got on OkCupid. Let's consider that a step in the right direction?